Friday, August 08, 2008

I take a break from today's story...

...to note some interesting Olympic facts. We are watching the opening ceremony, and I must say, we were all blown away by the whole beginning part. I can't even think about what my favorite part was, I liked it all. Then came the walking in part, which was notable for two awful reasons.

Matt Lauer. He should shut the f**k up and stop shitting on other countries. Seriously. The opening ceremony is not a time to degrade, make attempts on humor, or talk shit about the athletes. Really Matt, your just mean. The snarks that I heard just in the time it took me to write this post:
Apparently Vietnam has won a whole lot of medals in the math Olympics, and too bad they've only won one in the real Olympics.
Morocco is here to party, but not necessarily to win a medal, cause they never have before. But it's okay cause they're the richest country in the world.
If your an athlete from Austria, apparently dating the reigning Miss Austria is better than a cash prize.
The Gobi desert in Mongolia is to blame for the smog in China.
"Marco Polo" is a legitimate cultural connection between China and Italy.
Having grandparents from Germany is "good enough" to be on the German Olympic team.
If you win getting to carry the flag via getting the most text votes, someone should check to make sure you weren't up day and night text voting for yourself.

It's a little embarrassing. On the plus side, it would make for a kicking drinking game: Every time Matt says something snarky about another country or their athlete, you have to drink. Drink twice if he can't stop himself and snarks twice. Finish your drink if he says something that could create an international incident.

And of course, our beloved president makes an appearance. My favorite parts of Bush's appearance:
Seeing him tap his leg impatiently with the little American flag.
Seeing his nutsack cause he sits like he's at a Longhorns game.
Watching him struggle to button his jacket and wave his little flag at the same time when he stood up for the Americans.
Watching him look around with desperation, either for the hot dog guy or the Bud Lite girl.
Seeing him look at his watch about one third of the way through.
Knowing that we and every other person watching can see how completly bored he looks. I think Laura poked him in the back to wake him up. And I think that inside of his Olympic program that he frequently studies he stashed a Jughead comic book.

1 Comments:

Blogger Trillian42 said...

OMG. We were saying pretty much the same things, although we were blaming Bob Costas for most of the stupid shit being said. I was sort of hoping Matt was reading from the telepromtpter.

And we ALL agreed that they needed to get (and keep) the camera the hell OFF Pres. Bush.

The artistic stuff was stunning, though, and I LOVED the way they lit the cauldron.

8:04 AM  

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